My thoughts on thinking.

What the fuck? Stop it!

My Night and Amazing Boyfriend Spike.

So I went to the bar around two last night and when I got there everything was fine but then Kris pulls in and it was pretty clear him and Jamie were fighting because he was pissed and drunk and looking for a fight. Well a fight started to break out between a couple of regulars and Kris went out and jumped in the middle. That fight was broken up but about an hour later the guy that Kris was trying fight was sitting at the bar and Kris being well drunk and pissed got in his face and sucker punched him. The guy was like dude you hit me your drunk I'm leaving I am not getting in to this with you. Spike was inbetween them adn Kris started staring Spike down because well they have never liked each other and have been looking for a reason to fight. Spike ended up getting kicked out just because at the time he was the more sober and it was easier to move him and get him out. Well SPike was pissed about being the one to get kicked out and then kept going on about loyalty and what not. Then when he got back inside I sat next to him and Kris sat on the other side of the bar everything was fine we were all joking and laughing and taking shots. Then Spike was saying something to me about Kris and Kris freaked out. So Kris went outside and waited for Spike. He never went out there and we were trying to tell Spike we were proud of him for not going to fight but he was still getting worked up and Kerry said "Out of respect for your lady you need to stop." He says fuck that he wanted to go fight Kris. So I got mad then and said fine then go fight him I don't fucking care and so he got up to go fight him and I told Moss he was going outside and Spike got mad and started yelling at me about not being honest and then he left. I sat down for a few minutes but got up to leave Moss walked me outside and Spike came walking up asking if Kris was still inside. So Spike turned around and walked away and I asked him if we were going to talk he started yelling again about being hte one kicked out and me not being honest so I said okay and walked away then he started mumbling under his breath and I said fuck off. I got home and messaged him on facebook and asked if I could come over and we could talk with out yelling. I got to his place and we didn't say 10 words to each other I layed next ot him and he actually pulled me closer to him like he wanted me there and so I fell asleep and then I woke up an hour later and he is throwing his phone he got back into bed and turned his back to me. I asked him if he wanted me to leave and he didn't say anything so I waited got up grabbed my shoes and purse and he got up to walk me to the door. No words not hug nother I opened the door and walked out. He closed it behind me and I am sure that he hit something on the way back ot his room because I heard a lound noise. I got home sent him a message of everything I tried to say and told him I wasn't going to the bar for a few days and if he wanted to talk to me then he could on facebook and if not then i would see him in a couple of days. It was a very bad night last night.

Change is good, right?

I mean thinking about change is a very scary thing. Im not talking about changing  my hole life or moving far away from everyone. Small things to help me feel better. Starting with my hair, changing furniture and wardrobe and those types of things. Changing plans for life purposes like school and jobs.

These changes are something I have been wanting to do for quit sometime but haven't had the ability to do so. I still don't but I am working harder to make these changes now. Start with the small things and then move on to the bigger better things. Number one on the list... NEW HAIR!

The Newest Plan.

I have a plan. I know I have said that before and this probably won't be the last time I say it. I am going to get a second job. Hopefully an overnight gig and do nothing but work till next fall semester then I am going o start anew with this college thing. Hey caught up on all my bills and maybe further then need be with some of them. I need to focus on me and get my shit together in hopes of being successfull and happy and that means I have bust my ass now while I'm young and can still bounce back. This is the plan. Time to put plan in motion.

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My Election and Politics Rant.

I tried to make a joke about Obama, of course I didn't get a chance to because my grandmother cut me off talking about how no one wanted the health care reform thing he is doing things that no one really wants and blah blah blah blah blah. While she was going on about I then did the unthinkable and I cut her off. Then I went on my own little blah blah blah blah blah rant about how I DON'T CARE. I explained probably a little more harsh then needed that I know nothing about the health care reform thing because I don't give a damn about the health care reform thing. I don't give a damn about who is in office. I DON'T CARE.

I didn't vote in the midterm election because I don't give a shit who is running for what. I know some people are going to think that it is wrong that I don't care but I have tried to care really I have. I have tried to read articuls and keep up to date with polls and plans and what not but I just can't make myself follow it. Maybe I am not educated enough to care. Maybe I am unAmarican. I don't know I don't care. I've given up on trying to make sence of something that make no sence to me. My grandmother told me that I didn't have a right to have an opinion and I know that because I didn't vote. A lot of other people will believe that too, but, guess what. I am still going to give my opinion whether these people like it or not because I don't really care what these people have to say/think about me not voting. They don't have to read this and they don't have to listen to me give my opinion. I sure as hell don't care about theirs. I don't even know what any of the amendments were about so it would have been pointless to vote for any of those.

I hate election time because all it is are stupid phone calls that I don't think any living breathing person actually listens too comercials with politicians talking trash about each and showing off their ugly babies. (Really I know your they are you kids but someone should have told you that they are ugly and don't belong on the television.) People have no idea how thirlled I am that today is the first day of two years (year and half) of not haveing to deal with any of this election bullshit any more. But of course in two years it is the big boy election. The Ultimate "Immm Better then youuuu nananana booboo." pissing match. Cause in all honesty isn't that what the election really is, a bunch of adult looking kids in thousand dollar suits making fun of each other just using television and annoying phone calls to do it?

What annoys me even more then actual election are the people who get so into it all i hear from them is, "Oh this person is going to this and that person is going to this." "I am going to vote for this person because they said they are going to do this and I am not going to vote for this person because they said they are going to do that," Oh my freaking goodness! Really? We can not to mention the sign holding people; I want to hit them with my car. Like go away stop holding that damn sign because they only thing you are doing is putting yourself an your children in danger by standing on the side of the road during rush hour traffic in 90 degree weather. Why are you so stupid?!

I know that this comes off as I don't care about anything I have probably said that a time or two as well. In all honesty that is not true. More then anything I was just annoyed when starting this. I just can't get into it. Yeah I didn't vote because I didn't think anyone running was worth voting for. I didn't like any of them so why would I support one going into office over the other. I don't know anything about the amendments so why would I vote for something I know nothing about. In two years I will be to vote for who will lead this country but for now we are stuck with the guy who is there now and that is not a dislike or like comment because I keep my opinion about him to myself. So yeah. Here it is my true feelings and yes I'm telling you how I really feel.

Amber.

Am I Not Human

I can watch all those commercials about children in other countries starving and not haveing shelter and not feel anything other than "Oh that sucks." But I bawl like a baby and want to give all the money I have or I can muster and send it to The Humane Society. Mmmm how can a person hurt an innocent animal they can't defend themselves. :( I hate people sometimes.

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Amburnet Writes Here.: The Result of an Addictive Personality.

Amburnet Writes Here.: The Result of an Addictive Personality.: " I have cried a lot the past few weeks from not knowing what I am going to do about not having a job and not being able to pay my bill..."